Why first impressions are usually wrong and how long it takes to really know someone

January 30, 2026

Have you ever met someone and made an instant judgment about their character? These snap assessments occur within the blink of an eye—often in less than 100 milliseconds. This rapid formation of first impressions can significantly influence personal interactions and professional opportunities, shaping everything from job interviews to dating prospects. Yet, the psychology behind these judgments reveals a deep layer of complexity, suggesting that these initial perceptions are often misleading. While first impressions might feel like a decisive factor in relationships, time plays a crucial role in understanding someone more profoundly. What if the person you dismissed in a moment holds untapped potential, or conversely, what if you misread someone attractive yet insincere? Understanding the mechanisms behind first impressions invites not only reflection on one’s judgments but also an exploration of how relationships evolve over time.

The Psychology Behind First Impressions

First impressions are formed almost instantaneously; research indicates that our brains create these judgments within fractions of a second upon seeing a person’s face. This phenomenon isn’t merely a psychological curiosity; it carries significant implications. Initial impressions can influence critical life decisions—from job hiring to social dynamics—often based on unrelated characteristics like physical appearance or body language. These features can unintentionally lead to biased perceptions, where traits like trust or dominance are inferred from facial features alone.

The Impact of Bias

Unconscious biases further complicate our ability to accurately judge character. Individuals with visible and invisible disabilities may encounter misleading perceptions—often negatively impacting their opportunities. For instance, someone with autism might avoid eye contact, which could be misconstrued as disinterest in a professional setting, leading to missed opportunities and increased anxiety.

The Duration It Takes to Truly Know Someone

While first impressions provide a glimpse into personality, understanding another person requires time and shared experiences. According to various studies, it often takes multiple interactions to re-evaluate and revise initial judgments. The notion that lasting relationships are built over time underscores the importance of patience and openness to discovering the complexities of an individual. Consistency in interactions and exposure to a person’s true character can gradually shift perceptions molded by those first fleeting moments.

Beyond The Initial Spark

In romantic contexts, first impressions can spark attraction, but they often don’t determine the longevity of the relationship. Research suggests couples that experience neutral or slightly negative first impressions may develop more stable bonds compared to those instantly drawn to each other. This insight into the psychology of dating emphasizes that initial chemistry isn’t the sole predictor of success—it’s about understanding and growing together over time.

Overcoming Negative First Impressions

Fortunately, even the most misleading first impressions can be overturned. Acknowledging and addressing initial misjudgments is essential for healthy relationships. Empathy plays a vital role here; giving others the benefit of the doubt allows for second chances, fostering a space where deeper connections can flourish. Being conscious of how biases form in the first place can influence future interactions, promoting a more nuanced understanding of people.

Strategies for Cultivating Understanding

Adopting a meta-accuracy approach—understanding how others perceive you—can transform social encounters. Engaging in activities that challenge preconceived notions, like diverse interactions or educational workshops, can equip individuals with the tools necessary for more accurate judgments over time. By focusing on authenticity rather than contrived perceptions, individuals pave the way for more meaningful relationships grounded in trust and understanding.